Redneck Driving Etiquette
Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape.
When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
Do not remove the seats from the car so that all your kids can fit in.
Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
(more…)
11 January 2010
Redneck Etiquette
9 November 2009
What would have been different if Bill Gates was a redneck…
- Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
- Instead of an hourglass icon you’d get an empty beer bottle
- Occasionally you’d bring up a window that was covered with a hefty bag
- Dialog boxes would give you the choice of Ahh-ight or Naaaaa
- Instead of ta-da the opening sound would be dueling banjos
6 November 2009
Ventriloquist
A young ventriloquist is touring the Southwest and stops to entertain in an Arkansas bar. He’s going through his usual stupid redneck jokes, when a big burly guy in the audience stands up and says threateningly,
5 November 2009
You Might Be A Redneck…
What’s the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies?
‘Hey y’all… Watch this!’
How To Pick Up A Chick In Arkansas:
Hey Baby! Nice tooth.
Redneck Valentine
Collards is green,
my dog’s name is Blue
and I’m so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue’s
and without all them fleas.
