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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two-one to do it and one to steady the chandelier.
A: None, they only screw the poor

Q: How many Republican Presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: (Dole) When I was a poor boy growing up in Kansas we didn’t
have light bulbs. Now I have the housekeeper do it.
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Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: None. “Well it’s not really a question of should we change it or should we not change the lightbulb, but more a question of…(blah blah waffle)”

A: Two-one to do it and the other to keep the first one’s knee from jerking.
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Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a light bulb?
A#1: Two — One to promise he’ll do it better than anyone else and one to obscure the issues.
A#2: None — He’ll only promise “change.”
A#3: He doesn’t. He whines a while, says “I feel your pain”, and gets congress to pass a billion dollar light security bill, and blames republicans and special interests for not making lightbulbs free.

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.
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Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: We’ve formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out and to figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.
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