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A lady rushes into the veterinarian and screams,
“I found my dog unconscious and I can’t wake him — do something.”

The vet lays the dog on the examination table and after a few simple tests he says,
“I’m sorry, I don’t feel a pulse, I’m afraid your dog is dead”.

The lady can’t accept this and says,
“No, no, he can’t be dead — do something else.”

So, the vet goes into the other room, and comes back with a Labrador retriever. The dog jumps up on the table and sniffs the other dog from head to toe. It sniffs and sniffs up and down the dog, then all of a sudden just stops and jumps off the table and leaves.

The vet says, “I’m very sorry lady, your dog is dead.
“No, no, he can’t be dead — do something else…PLEASE” the lady cries.

So the vet goes into another room, and comes back with a little cat. The cat jumps up on the table and starts sniffing the dog from head to toe. It sniffs and sniffs up and down the dog, then all of a sudden just stops and jumps off the table and leaves.
“Well, that confirms it,” the vet says, “your dog is dead.”

The lady is very upset but finally settles down. “Okay, I guess you’re right. How much do I owe you?”

The vet says, “That will be $340.”

The lady has a fit and asks, “Why is it so much? After all you didn’t do anything for the dog.”

“Well”, the vet replied, “it’s $40 for the office visit and $300 for the LAB TEST and CAT SCAN!

A fellow walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.” So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. (more…)

“Doctor, I have an ear ache.”
2000 B.C. – “Here, eat this root.”
1000 B.C. – “That root is heathen, say this prayer.”
1850 A.D. – “That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.”
1940 A.D. – “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.”
1985 A.D. – “That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.”
2000 A.D. – “That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!”

Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.

Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet
meal seems perfectly normal to you.
(more…)

A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn’t been feeling well and wants to find out if he’s ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination. (more…)