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9 November 2009

What would have been different if Bill Gates was a redneck…

Filed under: English, Redneck, Story — Pake @ 10:25
  1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
  2. Instead of an hourglass icon you’d get an empty beer bottle
  3. Occasionally you’d bring up a window that was covered with a hefty bag
  4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of Ahh-ight or Naaaaa
  5. Instead of ta-da the opening sound would be dueling banjos

  1. The Recycle Bin in Winders’95 would be an outhouse
  2. Whenever you pulled up the sound player you’d hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling Freebird!
  3. Instead of Start Me Up the Winders’95 theme song would be Achy-Braky Heart
  4. PowerPoint would be named ParPawnt
  5. Microsoft’s programming tools would be Vishul Basic and Bishul C++
  6. Winders’95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
  7. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
  8. Instead of latte carts we’d have grits carts
  9. New Shutdown wav: Y’all come back now, Yah hear?
  10. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called “Cuz”
  11. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans-Am
  12. Microsoft Office replaced with Micrasawft Henhouse
  13. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver
  14. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill’s a billionaire
  15. Speadsheet software would include examples in inventory dead cars in your front yard
  16. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator
  17. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
  18. Instead of asking “where do you want to go today? it’s more like Hey mister, can I ketch a ridein the back?
  19. Free eraser to erase the scribbble marks off the screen when using the NotePad
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